Spreading the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

—He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven
William Butler Yeats

Read more on what this poem means to us as we ring in the New Year. See my post in Women Who Speak in Church!

Lost in God

Someone asked, “What is love?” God answered, “You will know when you lose yourself in Me.”

–Jalalal-din Rumi, 13^th century Sufi mystic

Click on this link to read the rest of my "Lost in God" post for WomenWhoSpeakInChurch...

What we are called to do

I come to this entry after experiencing a lot of death. How? I have been serving as a chaplain in my local hospital. The past month has been so transformational for me. I have been blessed to sit with families who must make the heart-wrenching decision to disconnect life support. I have held the hand of people before they entered surgery, as I prayed for healing. I have witnessed a daughter almost faint because her father "coded" and needed to be revived. I have swelled with tears in my eyes as I watched family members look up and say, "Why, God?"

What do I now know from all of this?

At times of crisis, we may cling to a more certain theological doctrine in which we view the illness as God's will. We may get angry at God for bringing all of this pain into our lives. But, for the most part, we are thankful for the hospital staff. I have been amazed to see how much compassion the hospital staff still has after seeing so much death. I am amazed at my own ability to well up with tears at any given moment. I have seen death - yes - but I have not lost a sense of the divine presence.

My sense that there is "something" out there has strengthened. Why, you may ask? It is because I see how much love is out there. Perhaps, for you, it is just that - love. Perhaps, for you, it is community that explains your theology. For others, it is an energy that we feel. Yet others describe it as God, Divine Presence, Spirit, Universe...

But, what I have witnessed is that this Divine Presence, Love, Energy or God has made me available to answer the code blue call after another patient I was visiting had fallen asleep -- leading me to be present for the family who needed me at that exact moment. I have been available to pray for patients moments before they entered surgery to remove a cancerous tumor or would welcome their new baby into the world -- via c-section -- many weeks too early. I have been able to hold hands with 50 people who needed prayers to help heal their wounded hearts - because a friend and loved one has died 5x that day, and now was on life support. I was the one available -- on call -- present to witness their pain and tears and need for hope.

This love I have found -- the one that calls me to be present -- whether it is a scriptural passage, a community of faith, or a feeling -- or whether it is an energy or one whom we call God...This love I have found renews my faith in humanity on a daily basis. I see hope in the eyes of a loved one. I find grace in the smiles of my own family who has had to take this journey with me, and love me when I am sad and angry because I struggle with what I have witnessed. This love I find in the smiles and warm embraces from my community of faith. More than ever, we humans, need our communities -- whether we find that in a faith community, a social group, or within our own families. We need one another. We need love. This is what we are called to do: Experience more love. "Faith, hope, and love...And the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13: 13)

Beauty - The Way to the Divine

What is a spiritual life? What does that mean?

For me, it means that I can move from spiritual experience to spiritual experience in one weekend. I can move from attending prayers at the local Mosque to surrounding myself with nature and animals while riding a horse. Then I can drive to Catholic Mass with my Sister-in-Law and then, the next day, I can attend my UU church. Afterward, I can end the day with yoga or chanting with Buddhist friends. It means that I am open to experiencing the divine in all religions and all experiences.

For some people this may be difficult. I urge you to start with meditating. Try another form of meditation that is foreign to you. After 1 week of practicing that meditation, ask yourself how you feel. Did you search for the beauty within that experience? After all, beauty is what links all of the wisdom of religions and experiences together.

In Process Theology, beauty is an important element to understanding the divine. That is, we all strive toward beauty in this world. That is the reason for all of these religious or spiritual experiences - whether that be in a mosque, synagogue, church, fellowship hall, temple, community center, yoga center, someone's living room, a personal meditation room, a concert, the theater, nature.

Isn't that what I was searching for and finding when I recited portions of the Qur'an or when I spoke to the horse who would carry me on her back so sweetly? Isn't that what I felt when I held the hands of a stranger while singing the Lord's Prayer with my eyes closed? Isn't that what I witnessed when I attended my UU church and sang songs about justice and equality for all? Isn't that what I experienced when I chanted portions of the Lotus Sutra with friends?

Beauty is the way to the divine. Beauty is healing. Beauty is what we all long for. Seek and ye shall find...Beauty.

Am I a Mustang: Listening to the Wisdom of Animals

Lately, I have been thinking about animal totems. They say to look in your environment at the animals who keep appearing because they have something to teach us. Regardless, if you believe in animal totems or not, I am sure you can believe that animals are great teachers. So, which animals are in my environment at the moment? Which ones shall help me to become more wise? I believe it is the horse who will aid me on this spiritual journey.

Why, you ask? Well, my son takes lessons in riding and caring for horses and so I have spent some time around them. I always seem to feel calm around them which teaches me to slow life down -- even if for only a few hours. No computers, no phones -- just sit and observe these magnificent creatures breathe in and out or trot around the corral. Or I can just pet their snouts and then receive the beautiful kiss of a sneeze (always after I have taken my sunglasses off, mind you).

I was reading somewhere that the horse (as a totem or spirit guide) signifies travel, power and freedom. It is there to help you overcome obstacles and embark on new journeys. You will learn to ride and, possibly, embrace the new directions that life has set afoot at your doorstep. More than that, the horse will help you to feel free and empowered when embracing this new direction - this new change.

I write this after many, many difficult but transformational years in seminary. On Tuesday, I will don the traditional cap and gown and walk across that stage as I have witnessed the graduates before me do. I cannot believe that 4 years have passed and I have now completed my M.Div. program. This past year was full of obstacles and changes, yet I would not trade it, nor would I trade the last 4 years for anything.

I trust that my horse totem or spirit guide will help me on this new journey as I transition to a different life. No longer a student of theology, I am transformed into a teacher of theology. I am ready to share all that I have learned. I emerge confident that I understand the divine in the many experiences found in this world. I am ready to ride into this new direction and, like the cowboy/cowgirl, I hope it will always be into an amazing sunset.